The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
