love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
