i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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