Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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