I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
