I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
