soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
