I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Who died my cat blue again?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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