Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
