Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
