he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
