I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize