you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
