before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
