bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
