What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i dont even know how to be here
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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