My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
