Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
