wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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