I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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