i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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