Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
