Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
