you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
