Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
