I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
