let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
smell my finger.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
