Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
