I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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