At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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