you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
