guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
