Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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