Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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