Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
