Already got asked if we're dating
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
vagina is talking i cant
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
