I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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