She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
