my mouth tastes like poor choices
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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