so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
