shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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