No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
