I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
