Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
