You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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