Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
