Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
