Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize