spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have aggressive nipples.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
