He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
