so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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