He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
only if we run a train.
done.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize