Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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