Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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