Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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