so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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