Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
