remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
