I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
