The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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