no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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