Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
