I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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