the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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